A clasp in the dark

I write this to remember a moment shared, in a room now quietened by your absence. As usual it was the unwhole, throbbing sweetness of unasked questions that sounded with the greatest possibilities; a clasp in the dark. As usual, the words I spoke were the ones that mattered least to me, even in an evening of my own design, set to music of my own making. 

Fruition in love is a concatenation of circumstance, conviction and courage, and I think courage is the most important of all. I have lacked the daring. To take the leap when it was necessary, to hold one's heart in one's mouth: I refused, as usual, and could only watch as probabilities divorced themselves from possibilities and drifted mutely apart. 

I nevertheless have to thank you for such a moment as I have hardly felt in these three florid years. I have only courage sufficient to express myself in the silence of this writing. I told you that you were like another, but it was only another failed ploy of mine to say what I felt without telling the truth. I don't believe there is anyone else like you in the world.